The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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