6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize