She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
