I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
