There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
