I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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