Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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