yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
me + whiskey = a bad person
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
