we're blogging at a bar
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize