I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
