He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
