At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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