When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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