okay pat passed out under dana's car
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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