Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
