We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
