Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Randomize
