Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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