I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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