I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
