508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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