I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
So gin and wine won't be happening again
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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