i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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