..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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