already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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