There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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