dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
