:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
