Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize