I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
