I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
