I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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