remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
