he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
