he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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