Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.

Fav 18 4472 892
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(719): View more from Colorado

never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.

Fav 12 900 5823
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.

Fav 34 1038 4654
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Just found my car keys in your throw-up.

Fav 20 1153 9037
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(775): View more from Nevada

How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy

Fav 7 1344 2812
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(863): View more from Florida

I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.

Fav 7 2476 1213
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(503): View more from Oregon

A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

Fav 4 2363 883
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(812): View more from Indiana

CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Fav 2 225 349
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(540): View more from Virginia

Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.

Fav 0 58 10
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