It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
