Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My life is pants optional.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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