Yo dont text me then not text me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
