I can text with my tongue
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
