...so i touched it.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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