one might say we're banned from that church
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
