im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
