he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
