whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
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I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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