yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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