Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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