I think I am morally bankrupt
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
