I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
