She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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