I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
