Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
