you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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