I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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