if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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