I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
