i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
