Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
