We won't sleep together?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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