I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
